Chapter 20 – Out of the Dark

Mind spinning out of control
Thoughts and feelings burning in my soul
wondering how much more I can take before I take the fall.
Wondering what will be the final call.

I was sitting on the patio at the back of the house like I had been doing for the last month. I had not been part of anything related to my kids, I passed my days lost in my own, dark, thoughts trying to shake my way out of the hole I had fallen so deeply in.

I thought of death in all it’s darkness, I’d know people in the past who had felt so lost they had taken their lives. Being level headed as I often was I found these thoughts very disturbing.

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Death right now would be so sweet
a bottle of sleeping pills would be clean and neat
to fall asleep and never wake
would be best for my sake.

I missed my home, my simple life were I was weighted on hand an foot and where I did not have to look after people because people looked after me. I missed the gem covered streets on Inner Jades and the tall, modernly designed homes that sparkled in the sun. I missed the rain as it hit the gem covered streets and made them sparkle like something from a dream.

I missed my purple palace room, big bed and a brother who I shared meals with every day. As I was thinking of all this gazing over the sand covered landscape of Lucky Palms I heard my sister approche. I new it was her, I new her every step, sound and everything in between.

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I hate this world and all its ways
I pray every night for my final days
I’ve never felt so worthless in my life
Heck just give me a sharp knife.

Turquoise: “Diamond I know your struggling right now and I know why, I understand after having 14 kids your growing tired of this challenge. It seems like your life is nothing more then producing one child after the other, I have an idea about the kids.”

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Diamond: ” Really? What sort of idea could you possibly have?” she said bitterly

Depression runs thick in my mind
Kill me now it’s my time
I think I’m done I’ve taken the fall
As I knew this was the final call.

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Turquoise was insulted by Diamond’s words but she new her sister was in a bad place an so she kept on. ” No it will work, your a Master of Elixir’s so make a Clone Drone Potion. Use it to make a Clone of yourself and get the Clone to produce the next four kids or more well you take a break.”

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Diamond thought about it a bit ” You know it just might and if I end up with a Clone that refuses I can use my skills making Elixir’s to fix that. That’s a really good idea Turquoise and I apperciate you coming up with it. I have been thinking over and over what I might do and would never have thought of that, it’s perfect.”

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” Well that is why they call me the older twin.” Turquoise replied.

” Yeah, yeah whatever” Diamond said

After Turquoise came up with her idea I found myself feeling like a new woman, the knowledge that I’d be free to try other things was extremely pleasing to me rather then having to pop out baby after baby. I got back into working with the kids and began to teach Charoite how to talk.

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After I went to work teaching her how to walk since both were very important skills.

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After she learned those skills I left Turquoise to teach the same skills to little Clinohumite well I went to call Twallan and apologize for ignoring him the last month or so.

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I soon learned from our conversation that Twallan was not really interested in anything like marriage with me, but we still, by the end of the conversation were good friends and closer then before. I found I was ok with that becaue I did not want to be tied down as I planned to travel more and see other towns, worlds and locations.

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Soon I was off the phone with Twallan it was time to teach Cal and Carn the last of their skills because their birthday was close at hand.

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Soon after Carn and Cal learned the last of their skills it was time for them to have their birthday and grow into children. I was rather happy to be part of this event and found it amazing how Turquoise’s idea had brought me right out of the darkness I had fallen into.

Calcite Flare/Child

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Carnelian Flare/Child

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Now with two kids in the house and two Toddlers things started to get a bit easier, both Cal an Carn were a great help as they would feed or play with their smaller siblings if needed.

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Winter soon set in and Xmas and the Toddlers birthdays were not too far off, since snow came early both boys stayed home from School due to heavy, falling snow and enjoyed the day playing outside.

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